Normally I would stay away from posts like this. If I have an opinion that can be expressed civilly and unofensively, then I might post, but I usually steer clear of arguments and fights - which is why I like it here. I know I may have come down on the wrong side of an issue or two, but I have never felt that anyone here has ever held that against me. I've belonged to other forums like those hosted by some of the woodworking magazines and found them to be riddled with the steamroller tactics and elitists you refer to. I stay away from them.
My two cents - David, you have, by this post, impugned the good nature of not only this forum, but the members and elected leaders thereof. This is something I will argue for.
I have had the tremendous pleasure of meeting about 30 of the members of this forum face to face over the past 9 months and I can say without reservation that they have proven, through word and action, to be some of the kindest, most considerate, empathetic, generous, and goodhearted people God has placed on this planet. When I lost my wife last year to cancer about a dozen of these members opened their doors to me and allowed me to visit with them as I took a cross country trip to try and get my life back in order. many more of them traveled many miles, even across international borders, to meet with me at other member's homes. I was recently blessed by having a group of them stop at my home for a visit. My only regret is that I was unable to do more for them or spend more time with them during their visit.
David, if you do not see that this forum is indeed different from all the rest in that it is a safe harbor for pro and novice alike to share their love of woodworking then you are refusing to see what is right in front of you. I cannot offer you any guidance on staying or leaving other than to say that perhaps you and this family are not a good fit. This places blame on neither and only recognizes that not everyone will be happy here, no matter how hard we try. Should you decide to stay I look forward to your sharing your experience in woodworking with those of us who are less experienced. Should you leave I sincerely hope you find a forum home that is to your liking.