3 Year old and the Toilet

Dan Mooney

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1,920
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Portland, Oregon
A THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET.

HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP.

THE LITTLE BOY IS GRIPPING ON TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITTING HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE."

BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE 'DOODY' YET."

MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"

BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP!"
 
Your fault you reminded me of this AGAIN

Hi,

Many years ago I was to make a presentation to a group of optometrists and ophthalmologists. This was an important meeting in that it concerned how docs from each group would work with docs from the other group.

The meeting was scheduled for 1:00 pm.

At approximately 12:15 I stopped in a cafe for a quick bite before making my presentation. I am sitting in the restaurant in a booth, all by myself. A guy, all by himself, sat down in the next booth. His back was to me. So we were seated like a couple guys in a bus.

Our food arrives. He grabbed the Katsup and shook it very hard front to back. Unfortunately he started with a vigorous back swing AND THE LID WAS LOOSE ON THE BOTTLE.

He totally drenched me in catsup (see, I will spell it either way). It was in my hair on my shirt, necktie, in my lap...I even managed to get some in my sox.

The guy did not turn around. He got up and walked away from me to the front door and out. He sloshed me. He stiffed the restaurant for the food. He stiffed the waitress. He vanished.

Well this was in the good old days of "Wash and Wear." It also happened to be in Fresno, CA where the temperature had not dropped under 100 deg F for something like 25 days.

I went in the bathroom and stripped. I washed my clothes in the sink. I put my underwear in a wad of towels and put my clothes back on. I then went outside into the heat to dry. I managed to get a guy to sell me his necktie. I got a comb out of the car to do my hair. And, by golly, I made my presentation on time.

Enjoy,

Jim

ps Guess what I think of every time I see someone shake a bottle of katsup or mustard!
 
dans was funny but the true storys are better jim...i dont think i would have let the guy off like you did,, accident yes but to walk off from everything is just wrong..
 
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