Close Call

Vaughn McMillan

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ABQ NM
I was at the bank today with my wife, and while I was there a man wearing a ski mask walked in, said "This is a robbery", and proceeded to rob the bank. On his way out, one of the other customers grabbed his mask and pulled it off, getting a good look at the robber. The robber turned and shot him. Then the robber noticed that a teller was staring at him, so he shot the teller. Before leaving, he said "Did anyone else see my face?" As I was crouching on the floor I said "I think my wife got a pretty good look at you."
 
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
 
Just to continue

What A Hoot

Each evening bird lover Jay at his new place- stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year, Jay and his feathered friend

hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation."

Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.

"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

Then it dawned on them.
 
Just to continue

What A Hoot

Each evening bird lover Jay at his new place- stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year, Jay and his feathered friend

hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation."

Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.

"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

Then it dawned on them.

I have no idea why I remember this, but almost this very situation was in a Don Knots movie "The Love God?".
Don plays a birdwatcher and I recall this sub-plot where he is on safari trying to find this rare bird and finally finds... another birdwatcher making the same calls.
(The rest of the movie I really don't remember...)
 
My wife's elderly uncle once left his wife in a rest stop. Several miles down the road the trooper caught up with him, and pulled him over. "Sir, do you realize you left your wife in the rest stop?" the trooper asked kindly.
"Oh thank goodness, I thought I was going deaf, the old fellow answered."
 
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