A dose of reality

allen levine

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new york city burbs
every now and then I get a good dose of reality.

and today, as simple and uneventful as it was, I was disturbed by it, shocked me back on track.

I was carrying a scroll saw into my garage, and with a sore back, I was struggling a bit, not happy.

The machine weights 53 lbs according to the specs.

Lifting it onto a shelf, well, didnt happen.

Then reality struck. Since sept of last year, I began dieting, dropped approx 50-52 lbs, gained back 6, the past few months, and today realized, are you kidding?
could you imagine(speaking to myself) you are carrying that scroll saw on your body every day of your life for the past 20 years? You want to know why your back always hurts?
Imagine why your knees and joints are racked with arthritis, youve had a scroll saw strapped to your belly for 20 years...and you are gaining back weight?
then I called myself a entire list of bad names, then made up some new names for myself, then realized name calling wont help, gotta get strict again, because this dose of reality was really scary.
I could barely lift the machine, yet I was carrying it around in excess fat for the past 20 years.

I have a very long way to go, but it puts things in a much better perspective, better than the doctor warning me of diabetes and heart disease and dying young.

If he would have thrown a scroll saw at my feet and told me to strap it to myself for a month to see how Im killing myself, I think me and most people would pay alot more attention.

I was actually ashamed of myself for not realizing how I spent the past 25 years killing myself.Ashamed in my garage, in front of myself.

I apologize if this is a sensitive subject to anyone here, its only me making fun of myself.
 
It's hard to do Allen. I commend you for sticking to it and educating yourself. For the past 15 years I've been floating around 245 or so. My work put on a program (actually our health care carrier) for weight education. I still need to get back to a good exercise program, but watching my plate and cutting out 500 calories a day I've lost about 10 lbs. It's really been as simple a making sure my plate is half veggies.

If I'd give up the barley POP, I'd be 180 overnight. :)

Darren VIA tapatalk
 
That's a heck of a perspective, Allen. Kudos on getting rid of the pounds you've lost so far, and here's hoping you can continue to lose more. :thumb:
 
Congratulations on the wakeup, Allen! No matter how it comes, we need to heed a wakeup call when we get it, so we'll be there for the next one! :thumb:
 
Allen,
you're right, once in a while reality will smack you square in the face. (and HARD) I got a good hard smack in the face back in September. It's a long story that I won't get into completely but I'll just hit the high points.

I'm 48 years old. Weight has never really been an issue with me, I've been 165 lbs for years and never really varied more than probably three or four pounds either way. For several years though, I've realized that I've been out of shape and needed some regular exercise. I just never kicked myself in the butt and gotten to it. I've had "bad knees" for years and I always attributed it to the work I do. I'm a builder, but I don't build homes. I do general repairs, light remodeling, decks, flooring, etc. I've installed thousands of square feet of ceramic, hardwood, and vinyl tile through the years.

For years I've had a hard time going up and down stairs. Again, I figured it was just the bad knees from years of flooring work. About four years ago, I blew out my right knee and had it scoped twice to repair it. The therapy helped and got me going again. After that therapy, I really meant to get into some regular exercise but never did it. Fast forward to late last summer. My right knee started acting up again so I went to my ortho and had it checked. He said that the knee joint was very healthy looking and he didn't see any arthritis or anything. I had some weakness in my quads and that was probably causing the joint to be unstable and causing the pain. He advised me to get a complete physical to see what was going on. I had one a couple days later.

My family doctor did a complete physical and saw the same weakness so he ordered an additional test that isn't normally done in a physical. I had the test done about three days later. Within two hours of leaving the test, I got a call from my doctor's office. She said that the doctor needed to see me ASAP about the results. This had me very concerned. I went in the next morning and got the bad news. My doctor walked in and cut right to the chase. He told me that it looked like I had Lou Gherig's Disease and that if that was the case, there was nothing that anyone could do. I went numb from head to toe! I felt like I'd been punched in the gut and could hardly even keep my composure.

I spent three months getting tests done and waiting for results. In early January, they ruled out Lou Gherig's Disease and found out that it's something similar but different. It too though, has no cure and no treatment available. At this point I can hardly even go up and down stairs and at least three times in the past couple of months my leg has given out and I found myself laying flat on the floor. This has been a MAJOR wake up call and I started PT treatments this week. I have to go for PT three times a week for the next 2-1/2 to 3 months and then they'll reevaluate my situation. I'm trying to avoid it, but it looks like I may end up having to file for disability in the near future. But I'm going to give PT a chance and see what happens.

I wish I'd listened to my body a LONG time ago. If I had, I may have gotten this diagnosed much earlier and started treatment before it got this bad. From what they're saying, I may not be able to reverse the effects but hopefully the PT will help slow the progression. If I'd started regular exercise a long time ago, I may have been able to avoid a lot of this that I've been dealing with. Oh well, what's done is done and I have to learn to live with it. I'm just hoping that I didn't wait too long to deal with the situation.
 
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I retired in 2010 mainly because of a neuromuscular disease, so I understand how tough it is.

I yell at my friends who are healthy and wealthy, listening to them tell me they are just saving it for a rainy day.....I yell at them....ITS POURING....go enjoy it while you can......nobody knows what tomorrow holds for us.
 
I know exactly what you mean Allen. I've lost about 120 lbs over the last 2 years. Every time I carry the trash up from the basement or pick up a 40 pound bag of dog food from the store I wonder how my body ever carried that extra weight all the time.
Thanks for the wake up though. I've put on about 15 pounds in the last few months because of my back issues keeping me from being as active as usual. Back on the diet tomorrow :eek:
 
I hear you also Allen, I carried a six pack stomach leaving the military. That grew into a jumbo keg over the years. Now, I like beer as much as the next guy, but carrying that party supply was killing me. And it wasn't lite beer either, as I pushed 310 lbs at one time{185 during my army stay}:eek:...Can't say I'm losing it fast, but I'm down 40lb's since I found the treadmill under all of the clothes hanging from it.

Just gotta keep at it till it becomes second nature :thumb:
 
Yep I know exactly what you are talking about Allen, we sell 25Kg bags of salt (55lbs) and that is about how much I've lost in the last two years, when I have to lug one of those up some stairs to a customer's place, I just shake my head and think about lugging that around for all those years, wow!

Keep it up, keep active, and one of the best sayings I've hear in a while is "Great abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym" :D
 
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