Bear joke
Okay, this is not intended as a political statement just a funny joke. Moderators do as you wish with it.
A college professor has spent his entire career railing against religion and is a profound atheist.
On vacations he likes to spend time in the woods communing with nature. On one particular trip he hears a noise behind him and finds an 800 pound grizzly bear running toward him. He takes off running and in a few short strides finds himself knocked to the ground on his back. The bear has one paw on his chest and the other paw is upraised ready to take off his head.
He screams out in desperation, "Oh God please help me!"
The wind stops blowing. The birds stop chirping. The streams stop gurgling. The clouds part and from a booming voice from the sky is heard, "All thy life you have denied me and taught people to hate me and now in the moment of thy death you call out for my help. Why should I help you?"
The professor answers, "Well, even at the moment of my death I am not going to say I believe in religion or in you but I was hoping you could do something to change the bear to become more Christian."
"It will be as you wish," the voice answers. And with a clap of thunder the wind starts blowing, the birds are chirping and the streams gurgle.
The bear gets a funny look on his face and put his paws together as if in prayer and utters, "Dear God. thank you for the meal I am about to receive."