Thank you all very much for all the input. Got a quiet a few things to chew on.
Yes Dad in my case most likely had to fix the washing machine, whereas i do it by choice, or simply because i dont trust too many to do anything for me. Been let down one too many times by "service industry" paying peanuts and hiring monkeys to do the work.
My Dad did make sure i got what i needed in life.
I think as a generation we are bit hard on our parents and how they handled us growing up. As a pure matter of evolution each generation since the war has been pretty much better off than those that went through the depression and war.
I dont see any point in rolling down hardship for the sake of it.
But i do believ in trying to pass on some of what i come to think of as core values. Just feel these values are under seige in todays world and where does one turn to to as a reference to modifying ones values to keep in step with what is going on.
This kid of mine is a real good kid, studying civil engineering, self funding his studies within reason getting very good grades, landed himself a job for the summer from the first working day out of school, devotes time and money to helping coach little league football.
However this past school year burnt through cash like it grew on trees. His first year his food was taken care of through residence. This last year he had to diy in a house with his mates. They each did their own thing for food. I tried teaching him how to budget at beginning of year. Did not want to listen. So came up short to which i helped fund based on his estimate of need. Again came up short, we did the rinse repeat cycle too many times for my liking. I did not want to have this cause an issue while school and exams were on the go. But now he has to learn.
We have discussed as a family the whole what should we do bit as in trash or fix and merits etc.
Learning to make a budget and achieve your wants on the monetary side with goals and savings is a huge lesson i would like to pass on. At that point i feel i will have enabled him to survive comfortably when i am no longer around. There is no other family or extended family around for him to have as a backstop when i pass on so to me its vital he learns this lesson.
I dont specifically care about the car issue, that is just part of the bigger scene.
Sure its nice to have a new car. As i showed him it cost $1300 for me to have two ball joints repaced in mine.
Its fine to just haul it into the dealership and get skinned alive if you have the $1300 but what do you do if you starting out in life and dont have it.
I showed him a reasonable ball joint purchased on line is only $26 in US, i dont even bother pricing them here anymore. A tool from HF $76 and a little sweat equity and boom for a few hundred bucks you got new ball joints.
I want him to see that there are other options and know how to execute them. Then he can decide what he wants to do.
I also showed him what its going to take to get his own home here given how our housing has gone up totally out of proportion to any working persons income.
If he does not learn to save a big chunk of his income there is no way he is going to have his own place someday. We have 20% down rules here now for mortgage. It was always like that in my life anyhow.
Something i realise as well and thank you all for is bringing up the point of making it fun.
I too grew up with divorced parents. When i got to see my Dad as an adolescent many years after he had left home, despite the battles we had the time we spent doing all sorts together around the house on cars or in the workshop were memorable maybe not always fun. Like some of you i appreciate those times now more than i did at the time.
Part of me is trying to set these occassions up for us to spend time together but as Darren said time to pick the battles. Thanks Darren.
Jim your Hotdog story reminded me of being with my mother as a kid and experiencing my sister coming over with her husband (10 years between us) each week to ask Mom for money to buy food for her offspring. It never stopped until the day Mom just did not have any. I never forgot that and it probably leaves lessons behind which is why i could be called a prepper.
I guess at the end of the day we cannot pass on our life experiences that shaped our outlook. They will live their own and have them influence their outlook.
Thanks for all the discussion folk really helps to hear from others on these matters.
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