exciting visit-------not

Frank Fusco

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12,782
Location
Mountain Home, Arkansas
My sone DIL and grands are visiting this weekend. A very rare event for us. All are sitting doing 'stuff' on electronic devices. Conversation nearly non-existant. I guess the good news is we are not arguing. Not that we do. But........this is a 'visit'?
 
I know the feeling. My son, DIL and grandson are here, and the grandson, who does not speak yet, spends a good part of his day with his eyes glued to his mother's iPod, watching "Paw Patrol." He is unresponsive to any communication, and of course if you take it away and turn it off, he screams bloody murder.
 
Electronics are much like fire. A wonderful servant but a terrible master. Our 2 year old got her own tablet for her first birthday but we've only installed educational apps and limit her time to a reasonable amount. I have to change the wireless password and turn off his cell data to get my 14 year old to pay attention. It's a strange world and no matter how hard you try to parent correctly sometimes, the world seeps in and makes it tougher.
 
Well i'm just sitting here, waiting for my wife and son to get back from a christian concert. Not that that's uncommon, as the boys are always getting her to go some where.:) This is the 26 year old ( youngest) and they love to spend time together. And yes when he's not working he's on some kind of gaming system.
 
Just wondering if maybe there were some activities planned maybe things would go better. Just going to visit relatives never was very interesting for me. But when they had some kind of show and tell or activities to do really changed the whole picture.

Maybe a little time in the shop teaching them how to turn a pen, or going out and doing a little target practice with Grampa might help to pry the devices out of the fingers?
 
I have 16 grandkids. When we all (or some) get together at my home the rules are no phone or electronics and take off your hat when you are in the house. All the kids end up playing outside and having a ball. Keeping my 5 daughters off their phone is a bit more challenging though.
 
Yeah - I guess so.

I see a lot of that stuff and I am a bit put out by that stuff. I think it really diminishes creativity and ability to think, create, communicate, and reason.

There is good and bad to it.

My son and his wife are "minimalists" and on the low end of electronic devices. She reads real books to the 3 kids. She answers all the kiddys "why" questions. She makes sure they enunciate correctly and make sure their sentences are formed correctly. Get the picture? It is not that they don't use electronics, but they use them as tools not as major entertainment. They have only one TV and it is on only occasionally - not every day.

The kids are far advanced over other kids the same age. I don't say that because they are my family, but because they get measures by the pediatrics. My daughters kids on the other hand are maybe on average and my grandson below average in speech. Her Son is same age as my son's daughter. There is not any comparison in ability. The granddaughter with the book reading and instruction FAR outshines my grandson in knowledge and speech. There is a huge disparagey in households with the TV and electronic devices

Social interactivity between parents and children to me is a key element. When parents ignore the kids - the kids learn to ignore parents, and others.
 
Yeah - I guess so.

I see a lot of that stuff and I am a bit put out by that stuff. I think it really diminishes creativity and ability to think, create, communicate, and reason.

There is good and bad to it.

My son and his wife are "minimalists" and on the low end of electronic devices. She reads real books to the 3 kids. She answers all the kiddys "why" questions. She makes sure they enunciate correctly and make sure their sentences are formed correctly. Get the picture? It is not that they don't use electronics, but they use them as tools not as major entertainment. They have only one TV and it is on only occasionally - not every day.

The kids are far advanced over other kids the same age. I don't say that because they are my family, but because they get measures by the pediatrics. My daughters kids on the other hand are maybe on average and my grandson below average in speech. Her Son is same age as my son's daughter. There is not any comparison in ability. The granddaughter with the book reading and instruction FAR outshines my grandson in knowledge and speech. There is a huge disparagey in households with the TV and electronic devices

Social interactivity between parents and children to me is a key element. When parents ignore the kids - the kids learn to ignore parents, and others.

That's kind of exactly our approach Leo. I think it helps a lot that we're older parents...... lol Carly was born when I was almost 40 so we're at a different place in our lives when it comes to maturity, experience, and finances. Even when I was working, Carly was able to go with me to work. She loves to interact with people, isn't overly shy, and talks well for her age. Part of it is definitely just her own natural abilities but I'd like to think part is because of her raisin'! :D She eats what I cook (most of the time and always at least tries it). We do watch a lot of TV (6 in the house) but she pretty much watches Disney & Nick. The cartoons they have these days are a lot more educational than the Coyote, Roadrunner, & Rabbit that I watched.... lol
 
I am sorry, I didn't realize we needed to text one another to visit in person. I was looking forward to people who look up.

and send.....


Otherwise see their faces when you grab the phones with pliers.
 
One of the best things we ever did was buy and install a meter on the TV, for 100 yen ($1) you could watch TV for an hour. From the time the girls were in elementary school we gave them each 300 yen a week allowance.
At first they popped it into the TV and watched TV, then they would coordinate between them to watch shows they wanted to watch together, then eventually they figured out it was more fun to go to the library and get 10 books each, sometimes twice a week, and keep the money for themselves.

Sure they both now have iPads and iPhones and they use them, but they also cherish going out with friends and interacting. I love the technology, we get to keep in touch with our girls in Canada, we Skype weekly, sometimes the family conversation goes on for 4 or 5 hours! :O we often eat a meal together over Skype, it is fun.

I don't have an answer for you Frank, sorry but maybe the idea of doing some cool stuff out in the yard would be good, but I bet, knowing your son a little bit via FaceBook, anything really fun, stuff that goes bang or BOOM would be out of the question, right? How about a pellet gun? Shoot some targets? Get the girls involved too, and some cooking, my daughters LOVE to cook, and bake, and they are very good at it too.

Best of luck!
 
I'm probable more guilty then any of my son's and wife. I live on the phone because of business. My son's were raised hunting and fishing , playing ball and just being outdoors. My wife takes my phone when we visit :)
 
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