Travis Johnson
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- 2,369
This is kind of a double-introduction as I have been on this website since its infancy. Still this is something I wanted to share for quite awhile, and since this place is pretty close knit, I think it is something people on here will relate to.
Lets just say that on September 5th 2004 I had a bad day…a really bad day. The train I was driving suddenly dynamited leaving me stuck on the mainline near Cameron, MO. If getting screamed at by every railroad supervisor on the planet was not bad enough, I got a call from my wife. My parents house had just burned to the ground. To make a long story short, I flew home to find two things. The charred remains of my parents home, and my own house half-cleaned out. Apparently my wife had found a boyfriend online and was leaving me after 9 years of marriage. Because of the fire, I came home before she could clean out the house and be gone.
Its hard to explain, but her leaving basically left me with nothing. In one days time I suddenly had no job, no car, no wife, no parents next door and no way to travel in this isolated rural town to get anything. So I did what a lot of people would do if they were in the same situations as me. I called the Sheriff Dept, told them where I would be, then grabbed a rope, fitting it into a noose and tied it to the house rafters and jumped…
Now my call to the sheriff Dept was so my parents would not find my body. I did not want to put them through that, but I had no way of knowing that a Deputy was very close by, perhaps by divine intervention since I live in the middle of nowhere, even by Maine standards.. Anyway the Deputy cut me down, got me to the hospital and eventually got me to another hospital.
I spent 5 days in a mental hospital getting help. I am not proud of that fact, and in fact pretty ashamed. But in some ways it was what I needed. It was the darkest part of my life. I have never been to jail so being locked up for those 5 days was pretty horrific. So was seeing some of the patients in there. Either way its not a 5 days I look back on fondly. Still I recovered and I moved on.
So how does this story all relate to woodworking? Well I changed. I look at life different now. Every time I complete a project…no matter how small…I realize that its something that never would have been created if that Deputy had not been driving by the house. I also have an enormous amount of patience too. When you have rope burns on your neck, you realize that having dust nibs in your finish really does not matter. It can be redone. In fact, anything can be redone, only life and body parts can not be fixed or replaced. Its that kind of attitude that makes life enjoyable.
I just hope other woodworkers that read this, get two things out of this. If things look pretty bleak, get some help. Its embarrassing I know, as I can attest to four years later. Still get some help if you need it. The other thing is to look at your skills in a new light. Don’t be angered by the little things in life. You are created something out of nothing really. Take pride in your ability to see things in something else, and to make that vision become tangible. Most of all though, realize life is indeed good.
As for me, well I managed to find another railroad job here at home, bought a truck to get around in, and even found a girlfriend, all within a week of getting out of the awful hospital. Eventually Patty and I wed, and even had a daughter named Alyson. I just amazes me that four years ago I almost ended everything. Alyson would have never been created, my house would still be small, and Patty living alone still. Its just almost unfathomable me not being here.
Life is not perfect I know, it never is, but I must say life is indeed good. Fellow woodworkers, realize that before its too late.
Lets just say that on September 5th 2004 I had a bad day…a really bad day. The train I was driving suddenly dynamited leaving me stuck on the mainline near Cameron, MO. If getting screamed at by every railroad supervisor on the planet was not bad enough, I got a call from my wife. My parents house had just burned to the ground. To make a long story short, I flew home to find two things. The charred remains of my parents home, and my own house half-cleaned out. Apparently my wife had found a boyfriend online and was leaving me after 9 years of marriage. Because of the fire, I came home before she could clean out the house and be gone.
Its hard to explain, but her leaving basically left me with nothing. In one days time I suddenly had no job, no car, no wife, no parents next door and no way to travel in this isolated rural town to get anything. So I did what a lot of people would do if they were in the same situations as me. I called the Sheriff Dept, told them where I would be, then grabbed a rope, fitting it into a noose and tied it to the house rafters and jumped…
Now my call to the sheriff Dept was so my parents would not find my body. I did not want to put them through that, but I had no way of knowing that a Deputy was very close by, perhaps by divine intervention since I live in the middle of nowhere, even by Maine standards.. Anyway the Deputy cut me down, got me to the hospital and eventually got me to another hospital.
I spent 5 days in a mental hospital getting help. I am not proud of that fact, and in fact pretty ashamed. But in some ways it was what I needed. It was the darkest part of my life. I have never been to jail so being locked up for those 5 days was pretty horrific. So was seeing some of the patients in there. Either way its not a 5 days I look back on fondly. Still I recovered and I moved on.
So how does this story all relate to woodworking? Well I changed. I look at life different now. Every time I complete a project…no matter how small…I realize that its something that never would have been created if that Deputy had not been driving by the house. I also have an enormous amount of patience too. When you have rope burns on your neck, you realize that having dust nibs in your finish really does not matter. It can be redone. In fact, anything can be redone, only life and body parts can not be fixed or replaced. Its that kind of attitude that makes life enjoyable.
I just hope other woodworkers that read this, get two things out of this. If things look pretty bleak, get some help. Its embarrassing I know, as I can attest to four years later. Still get some help if you need it. The other thing is to look at your skills in a new light. Don’t be angered by the little things in life. You are created something out of nothing really. Take pride in your ability to see things in something else, and to make that vision become tangible. Most of all though, realize life is indeed good.
As for me, well I managed to find another railroad job here at home, bought a truck to get around in, and even found a girlfriend, all within a week of getting out of the awful hospital. Eventually Patty and I wed, and even had a daughter named Alyson. I just amazes me that four years ago I almost ended everything. Alyson would have never been created, my house would still be small, and Patty living alone still. Its just almost unfathomable me not being here.
Life is not perfect I know, it never is, but I must say life is indeed good. Fellow woodworkers, realize that before its too late.
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