Oct. 12, sad day for our family

Frank Fusco

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12,782
Location
Mountain Home, Arkansas
I wasn't going to post this. But when Oct. 12 rolls around each year some memories hang heavy on my heart and mind and I feel a need to share. This forum is well named and is a place for sharing.
October 12, our son, Brent, age 27, was found dead in his apartment in Fayetteville, Arkansas. His friends had lost contact with him several days earlier and I had been on the phone constantly for three days trying to get police to look into his apparent disappearance. They wouldn't even talk to me for three days. When I finally convinced them to break into his apartment they found him dead. We observe Oct. 12 as his day of passing but, I'm sure, it was several days earlier. The autopsy never discovered the cause of death. Officially the cause of death is "undetermined". We will never know. A perfectly healthy 27 year old just died. Brent was an exceptionally talented writer. When he was editor of the campus newspaper at the University of Arkansas it won the award for the best college newspaper in the country. He wrote a column called "Expletive Deleted" that combined humor with some very insightful analysis of current news and events.
To supplement income from his 9 to 5 job, he wrote music reviews and did promotional work for bands. His favorite band was Everclear. His favorite song was "The Fire Maple Song". We have a fire maple tree planted at the cemetery near his crypt. The Everclear band later dedicated an album to Brent's memory.
One year later, on Oct. 12, some relatives visited from out of state to help us through the difficult first year 'anniversary'. My mind wasn't were it should have been. I was acting stupid trying to keep my thoughts happy and off the sadness of the day. We were showing our farm to the relatives. I had a burro that was broke to pack for hunting. I would walk and lead the animal. It was not broke to be ridden and I am not a rider. But, I tried to ride him, without saddle or reins. He did have a one-rope halter. I got bucked and landed hard on my left side. My kidney was fractured and massive internal bleeding began. I almost died. Five weeks and three surgeries later I went home for a long recovery.
Several years after that, our late in life daughter, was recovering from serious knee surgery at the Shrine hospital. She was at high school, on crutches. Another girl, just goofing off, kicked her and broke the leg at the site of the surgery. That put her in the emergency room and back to Shrine hospital for more surgery. She is a dancer and that was a very dramatic event for her and the family.
Oh, BTW, that happened on October 12.
We don't hole up in a cave on Oct. 12 but we do remember our son. We are placing a wreath of fall leaves on the crypt today and, of course, will be thinking about him.
When you younger guys post pictures, or mention, your children, I often make comments like "treasure them". I mean it, my comments come from a place I pray none of you ever have to be.
Tonight, I will be with friends. I'll be cooking fish for my Shrine Club fish fry. But, we will be thinking about Brent, our other children and our grandchildren. There is nothing more important in life than family.
 

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Frank,

There is little one can say in response to such a posting as this except that to let you know that I've placed a reminder in my calendar for this date and from this point on I'll be remembering you and your family in my prayers each year.
 
Frank, I hope telling us about this can ease your pain on this day. I'm truly sorry for the loss of your son. We all are thinking of you and your family.
 
Frank, there is really not much to say--as I wipe away tears from reading your post. No parent should ever have to bury a child. Our hearts are with you and your family.

Nancy (70 days)
 
There's nothing I can add to what has been said. You have a great attitude with all that has happened on this day. Be safe today, don't let your thoughts wonder tonight while cooking. But most of all, remember the life of your son and celebrate it the way he would want you to. Jim.
 
Frank, I am so sorry about your loss, but I am Thankful you shared your story with us. Your story reminds me about my son who will be 27 soon and how I would miss him if he and his younger brother were to go before me.....I've mentioned it on this forum that we had a daughter we lost. She would have been 22 and was born between my two sons...there isn't a day that goes by that I do not think of her and when July 3rd comes it is always hard (the day she passed) it has been said that no one should ever have to bury their child....even though our daughter was very young, her loss always is a raw feeling....one I know you full well know.

Try to always remember to keep the memories close to your heart and then they are never completely gone. I'll be thinking of you brother, as well as all of your family on this painful day.

Thanks for sharing your story and bless you all.
 
Frank I know how you feel my friend and I am truly sorry.

On October 9th 2003 I lost my sister in a car accident. The next day I lost four friends (with one of them being my ex-wifes relative) in a fishing boat accident. In both cases no one ones what happened. My sister just ran her car off the road for some reason. Maybe a dog, maybe a deer, maybe answering the cell phone...no one will ever know.

Its the same with the Candy B II. The coast guard found a lunch pain and the EPRB float 200 miles east of Nantuckett. They think the scallop drag hit a rock and pulled the wooden boat in half...but no one knows. No bodies were ever found as is the case in the North Atlantic (water is too cold so the bodies sink)

If it was not for the leaves and hockey season starting up, I would hate this time of year.

Candy_B_II.jpg
 
Sorry to hear of your loss Frank.

I lost a little sister, she was 10, we lost her on Valentines Day.

Give that someone you love a extra hug, you just never know.
 
Frank,

I am saddened about your loss, and will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers for a long time to come. I send a big thank-you for sharing this with us, and can only hope that it gets a little easier with time.

My best to you.


Al
 
Frank, I've seen you mention Brent before, and can only imagine the pain you and your family have had to bear. Hold onto the good memories...they can't fill the hole in your heart, but they do ease the pain a bit.
 
I know there's nothing we can say to ease your pain. I hope your memories trend to the great moments together.

Wes
 
Hello Frank! Tough day indeed. It saddens me to hear of your son. Sounds like he was quite a guy! I am not one to wear my belief on my sleeve, but I do believe that things happen for a reason. Your boy was called home for whatever reason. Hopefully you will find the meaning in that and the other events that have happened!
 
Frank

When someone puts up a post like you just did it reminds me of several things

How important every moment is

How valuable are our family and friends

What a unique "place" we have created here

Take care of yourself and your family.

I think that someone becomes immortal when that person's deeds and work exist in other people's memory. You have passed your memories of your son to a whole bunch of people.

Jay
 
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