A Few Smiles

Dan Mooney

Member
Messages
1,920
Location
Portland, Oregon
When you find a big kettle of crazy, it’s best not to stir it.
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Some people are such treasures, that you just want to bury them.
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I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
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My train of thought derailed, there were no survivors.
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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
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The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
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You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
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If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
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Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
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Vegetarian: Native American word for “lousy hunter”.
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Materialism: buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people that don’t matter.
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People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
 
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