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larry merlau said:
question does the power of attorney need to be official as in registered in court or sealed by a notary, special form or just verbiage in a trust document. some one mentioned quick claim deeds are suggested as well
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Probably best to check the state law on it, but in AZ they are only requiring either a witness or notary for the medical one, for financial it also requires a witness in addition to the notary.

In Missouri there is a Beneficiary Deed that will transfer real estate upon death, which only needs notary and filing with the recorder of deeds, but again, check with your state.
 
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Jonathan Shively said:
Yes, we have mom's (had dad's) on their bedroom door with a magnet. In the event EMT's were called and we weren't there. Posted boldly, do not resuscitate.
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Thank you for this suggestion. It turns out that Arizona has a pre-hospital Medical Care Directive form on their website, which is to be printed on orange paper and placed where it will be seen by first responders. We did so for my mother and also put a copy of her Medical Power of Attorney form with it for them to use for contacting our family.

I don't know if other states have this as well and train their EMT's to look for orange paper specifically, but couldn't hurt.
 
Darren Wright said:
Thank you for this suggestion. It turns out that Arizona has a pre-hospital Medical Care Directive form on their website, which is to be printed on orange paper and placed where it will be seen by first responders. We did so for my mother and also put a copy of her Medical Power of Attorney form with it for them to use for contacting our family.

I don't know if other states have this as well and train their EMT's to look for orange paper specifically, but couldn't hurt.
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And it is the only paper on their door. Cannot be among a bunch of papers like a refrigerator. We tried to make it blatantly obvious. Also it needs to go with them if they get transported. My mom was surprised at how many times she had to tell people that with dad. Many times the same dr. . I will look into Indiana and orange.
 
Just wanted to re-visit this given our last few weeks in dealing with the in-laws situation. I don't want to bum anyone out, so feel free to stop reading here, as it doesn't get better.

We're real close on at least getting their Will, DNR, and POA's setup. They met with the lawyer last week and were supposed to finalize the papers today, but as most of you know my FIL is in the ICU and we don't have that in place for him. We only found out today that we missed the appointment and the lawyer called my wife to see what was up. We'll at least get my MIL's stuff finalized later this week to have in place. We'll have to wait to see how things go with my FIL before we can do his.

We can all hope that we'll die in our sleep or someone has to make an unexpected decision to pull the plug on you. What if it's not that quick or soon?

One thing that has come out of all of this is the fact that we may out live our money. Part of my FIL's reason for not going to the hospital last week, willingly, is that they are looking at long term assisted living costs if he gets worse. It took some time to convince him that it was best he go to the ER and get help to feel better. He knows that they are eventually going to run out of money and have to sell their house. It's not a pretty picture, but is their reality and reality of many. They are facing assisted care/memory care costs of $8k - $12k monthly, they've only got a few years that they can live the way they wish, then the money is gone.

My inlaws are going through a bit of a grieving process, that they will need to sell their home eventually. We're looking at "at home" assistance for them, but in reality, it will be very short term and really isn't less expensive than a full time care facility. They feel blindsided by the costs of long term care.

I think my wife and I feel we're doing much of the same, they are entirely too young (mid 60's) to be at this point in their lives and the weight of that is falling on us to help direct their final years.

I guess the point of this post, talk to those that will be helping to direct your care, research the costs and options before it comes to that point. It all may help take some of the shock out when that time comes.
 
i personally saw it first hand, a close neighbor, child hood friend had a very large goose egg stashed and had saved all her life. no kids just a couple close friends. me and mom and dad were the ones who had to deal for her mostly because of dementia.. her nest egg lasted about 5yrs. house got sold and property just to make it that long.
 
Darren as a licensed insurance agent I have to help people with this all the time. When people are young and could get Long term Care Insurance at an affordable price they don't seems to see the need in spending the money or they choose to spend it on other things. When we get old then the cost is prohibitive to afford. For veterans and their widows there is a thing called Aid To Attendance and without going into all the details it will pay around $2400/ month for care but there are certain requirement. I help veterans and their spouses with this as part of my volunteer work with the VA and American Legion, Most states offer spend down programs that offer semi private long term care or pay for long term care in the home once you deplete your saving most programs DO NOT require you sell your home but do require that you assets (saving, stocks, 401K) are below a certain level. If one of the partner needs long term care but the other ones doesn't then there are set asides programs that allow the healthy spouse to maintain a certain Level of income before any monies are taken for the long term care of the individuals. Like I said it is way to complicated to address in a post on a woodworking forum. I help people with these things all the time I did it for my sister and her husband and they live in Missouri. If I can be of any assistance to anyone with this please send me a PM and I will give you my cell number if you don't already have it. In terms of will while it is important to have one a trust is better and provides a higher level of protection. I deal with this on a regular basis.
 
Don Baer said:
OH and BTW make sure that you do a Durable (financial) power as well as a medical POA. I know from experience. When ever I am dealing with client who family is signing for their Medicare insurance I need the financial POA not the medical.
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Thanks Don. Yes they are Durable for both financial and medical. My MIL's will be in place this week, but we'll need to see where my FIL is in the next few weeks, as far as his physical and mental capacity to sign papers.
 
Just before my BIL went into surgery last week. He added his wife's face to his phone to unlock it. Unfortunately things did not go as planned and he was taken off life support Tuesday.

He had planned well for them, so they will be fine financially. Unfortunately, he took care of all the bills and banking, and hadn't shared any passwords or set her up to see any of it. She's been lost in this area, but we realized she could get into his phone for email and some apps. We're not sure for how long she'll have access, so we're having her write down as much as she can find in emails and apps that she can access on the phone. Hopefully we can use it to reset passwords to ones that she'll know or add herself for access.

Just something to think about, if you don't have them all written down somewhere already. More importantly, let someone know where that is.

My mom has a notebook I know to look for that she keeps updated. My wife and I use a password keeper, called LastPass, and I share the bill accounts with her through it. I have hundreds of other sites and passwords she won't care about otherwise, but in case she does, it has an option to set someone up for emergency access and a time period for you to approve it by before it automatically grants access to your information.
 
I have all my stuff on a spread sheet. Account Names, account numbers, monthly payment amounts, if it on auto pay and account signon and passwords. My son will have access to my computer and knows where the file is. I might make a hard copy and put it in the safe as a backup. My wife kept everything in a book.
 
I've been working on getting all that info together. Jan and I will sit down a few times over the holidays to sort things out and put a plan together. She has my PW's for the phone, iPad and PC and I have all my PW's in a spreadsheet accessible from all three. Her documentation is, shall we say, a bit more analog.

I've recently seen ads for file boxes that come with prelabeled file and instructions on what to keep in it. The price is high for the items you get and I think anyone could reproduce it. There are plenty of sites that give planning advice. Seems like a dedicated file box makes sense.
 
I am lucky in that my parents have had an estate plan since I was old enough to remember so I kind of grew up thinking everybody did this. I can say that processing a loved one's estate when it is well built (trust, will, POA, Medical POA, health directives, etc.) is much easier on the executor and much less tax impactive on any beneficiaries. I don't know what these go for today but once upon a time a full estate plan came in around $2500 via an estate lawyer. I can say, unfortunately due to multiple experiences, that this sum is paid back many times. I include a thumb drive with our paperwork in a bank box. This will give the executor a complete list of any and all credit cards, bank accounts, and access requirements in order for them to process the estate with a minimum of missed items and effort. A little bit of effort up front saves a lot of struggle after we're gone.
 
I don't know how I missed this thread.

Diane and I set up a non-revokable trust. The elder care lawyers know about this stuff. It was a lot of money, but I feel confident that they know how to dot the tees and cross the i's. At least better than I know how to.

I am in process of desensitizing my daughter as executor. I don't want her to not care, but I need to be able to talk to her without her breaking down. I have heard all sorts of horror stories about estates breaking families. I have also been involved it the turmoil.

As a family we talk about it. We need to be open about all of it.

I keep Michelle (daughter) informed about my finances and book keeping. Passwords are all in a red binder on my desk. All my finances are in Quicken. I have a backup drive to my network drive and she is well aware of that. As much as possible I keep Shelle (michelle) in the loop with just about everything.

We talk freely about the end of life details.
 
I’m glad many of you are working on or have some of these things done. I’ll keep adding as I come up them.

With the addition of two factor authentication to many sites and the many ways they can do it ( authentication app, phone text, phone call, email, etc) You might make note of what types the sites use and how to get the codes. Most sites give you a list of 10 or so backup codes to print and save for that rainy day too.
 
Mom is going to change her will to a trust. That will keep it out of the court's hands and taking off her money. Mom is doing well and family has developed their routines. Two sisters visit once a week for a couple of hours. One sister visits and takes her to lunch. Brother comes about every other year. I can only add, spend time with them. Their minds go to thoughts not thought of in a long time and some are very precious!
 
Jonathan Shively said:
Mom is going to change her will to a trust. That will keep it out of the court's hands and taking off her money. Mom is doing well and family has developed their routines. Two sisters visit once a week for a couple of hours. One sister visits and takes her to lunch. Brother comes about every other year. I can only add, spend time with them. Their minds go to thoughts not thought of in a long time and some are very precious!
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Make sure that she "Funds" the trust. All the bank accounts, life insurance beneficiaries, deeds, etc have to be put in the trusts name. She would still be the Trustee, but then name whomever as the successor trustee(s) or as additional trustees.
 
I recently had a lawyer tell me that a trust wasn't necessary in circumstances where the assets were set up to transfer on death (TOD), which is legal here in VA. A friend, for whom I am executor, has sold her house and vehicle and has almost all of her cash assets in the market with TOD orders to distribute the shares to loved ones upon her death. Checking and savings will also transfer on death to a loved one. The only assets she will have, as far as probate is concerned, are the clothing and furniture left in her apartment, making things pretty simple for me to deal with...I hope.
 
That can be the case for many things, so a trust may not be needed.

With a trust, we still have a will for items that should go to other that don’t have a TOD, such as tools, jewelry, and keepsakes. We were told to even do hand written notes for items we wished to leave something to someone and they could be submissive to court if need be.

I think the one place a trust is handy is should you need to make changes, you would have to make those on each affected account, so just have to weigh out what is easier to track, either a change on the trust or on each account. Just depends on what all you have to manage.
 
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