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larry merlau said:
question does the power of attorney need to be official as in registered in court or sealed by a notary, special form or just verbiage in a trust document. some one mentioned quick claim deeds are suggested as well
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Probably best to check the state law on it, but in AZ they are only requiring either a witness or notary for the medical one, for financial it also requires a witness in addition to the notary.

In Missouri there is a Beneficiary Deed that will transfer real estate upon death, which only needs notary and filing with the recorder of deeds, but again, check with your state.
 
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Jonathan Shively said:
Yes, we have mom's (had dad's) on their bedroom door with a magnet. In the event EMT's were called and we weren't there. Posted boldly, do not resuscitate.
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Thank you for this suggestion. It turns out that Arizona has a pre-hospital Medical Care Directive form on their website, which is to be printed on orange paper and placed where it will be seen by first responders. We did so for my mother and also put a copy of her Medical Power of Attorney form with it for them to use for contacting our family.

I don't know if other states have this as well and train their EMT's to look for orange paper specifically, but couldn't hurt.
 
Darren Wright said:
Thank you for this suggestion. It turns out that Arizona has a pre-hospital Medical Care Directive form on their website, which is to be printed on orange paper and placed where it will be seen by first responders. We did so for my mother and also put a copy of her Medical Power of Attorney form with it for them to use for contacting our family.

I don't know if other states have this as well and train their EMT's to look for orange paper specifically, but couldn't hurt.
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And it is the only paper on their door. Cannot be among a bunch of papers like a refrigerator. We tried to make it blatantly obvious. Also it needs to go with them if they get transported. My mom was surprised at how many times she had to tell people that with dad. Many times the same dr. . I will look into Indiana and orange.
 
Just wanted to re-visit this given our last few weeks in dealing with the in-laws situation. I don't want to bum anyone out, so feel free to stop reading here, as it doesn't get better.

We're real close on at least getting their Will, DNR, and POA's setup. They met with the lawyer last week and were supposed to finalize the papers today, but as most of you know my FIL is in the ICU and we don't have that in place for him. We only found out today that we missed the appointment and the lawyer called my wife to see what was up. We'll at least get my MIL's stuff finalized later this week to have in place. We'll have to wait to see how things go with my FIL before we can do his.

We can all hope that we'll die in our sleep or someone has to make an unexpected decision to pull the plug on you. What if it's not that quick or soon?

One thing that has come out of all of this is the fact that we may out live our money. Part of my FIL's reason for not going to the hospital last week, willingly, is that they are looking at long term assisted living costs if he gets worse. It took some time to convince him that it was best he go to the ER and get help to feel better. He knows that they are eventually going to run out of money and have to sell their house. It's not a pretty picture, but is their reality and reality of many. They are facing assisted care/memory care costs of $8k - $12k monthly, they've only got a few years that they can live the way they wish, then the money is gone.

My inlaws are going through a bit of a grieving process, that they will need to sell their home eventually. We're looking at "at home" assistance for them, but in reality, it will be very short term and really isn't less expensive than a full time care facility. They feel blindsided by the costs of long term care.

I think my wife and I feel we're doing much of the same, they are entirely too young (mid 60's) to be at this point in their lives and the weight of that is falling on us to help direct their final years.

I guess the point of this post, talk to those that will be helping to direct your care, research the costs and options before it comes to that point. It all may help take some of the shock out when that time comes.
 
i personally saw it first hand, a close neighbor, child hood friend had a very large goose egg stashed and had saved all her life. no kids just a couple close friends. me and mom and dad were the ones who had to deal for her mostly because of dementia.. her nest egg lasted about 5yrs. house got sold and property just to make it that long.
 
Darren as a licensed insurance agent I have to help people with this all the time. When people are young and could get Long term Care Insurance at an affordable price they don't seems to see the need in spending the money or they choose to spend it on other things. When we get old then the cost is prohibitive to afford. For veterans and their widows there is a thing called Aid To Attendance and without going into all the details it will pay around $2400/ month for care but there are certain requirement. I help veterans and their spouses with this as part of my volunteer work with the VA and American Legion, Most states offer spend down programs that offer semi private long term care or pay for long term care in the home once you deplete your saving most programs DO NOT require you sell your home but do require that you assets (saving, stocks, 401K) are below a certain level. If one of the partner needs long term care but the other ones doesn't then there are set asides programs that allow the healthy spouse to maintain a certain Level of income before any monies are taken for the long term care of the individuals. Like I said it is way to complicated to address in a post on a woodworking forum. I help people with these things all the time I did it for my sister and her husband and they live in Missouri. If I can be of any assistance to anyone with this please send me a PM and I will give you my cell number if you don't already have it. In terms of will while it is important to have one a trust is better and provides a higher level of protection. I deal with this on a regular basis.
 
Don Baer said:
OH and BTW make sure that you do a Durable (financial) power as well as a medical POA. I know from experience. When ever I am dealing with client who family is signing for their Medicare insurance I need the financial POA not the medical.
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Thanks Don. Yes they are Durable for both financial and medical. My MIL's will be in place this week, but we'll need to see where my FIL is in the next few weeks, as far as his physical and mental capacity to sign papers.
 
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